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I could close the door

Draw the curtains

Dim the light

Lay my head down

Bow and pray

Breathe and listen to the heartbeat

Lose all memory

Leave no trace

Swim upon the ocean

Float to heaven

And never return…




Art: Frida Kahlo, Without Hope, 1945






Now or later

While I am here

Or when I am gone

I’d like to see it

The other space

That is just behind it

I can sense it

I don’t believe it

But it’s there

And the time is approaching

I can feel it fraying

I have started picking up loose threads

Soon I will see the gap

And I will be free







Bells ring

Snow falls

Dogs on walks

Life goes on

Christmas here

And gone

Loneliness forever



Art: Mika Suutari


She closed her eyes and peered into the darkness… velvety, translucent yet impenetrable; it held all the mysteries, and all the fears.

Closer and closer the darkness grew, enveloping her imaginary being, holding it, cradling it. Such strange comfort in the arms of nothingness….

As if this endless dark held an answer, an absolution, a revelation.

And yes, why not, a miracle. What kind, she did not know.

She just stared and stared until images began to emerge from the tactile background, distant yet close enough to touch, if you had the courage.

In the world of darkness, she had no fear. And so she looked on and on, exposing her whole being to the unknown space that did not exist beyond her eyelids.

A sanctuary of her own making. A friend. She kept her eyes closed for so long she did not know if she would open them again. Ever. Nor did she want to.

A welcome blindness, unreal yet comforting. In her waking state it would devastate her. But here, behind the veil, it held her gently, without demand, forever if she wanted.

Did she?…